today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
