good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
