just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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