There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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