Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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