Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I want to be your penis for a week.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Randomize
