I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
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I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
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The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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