Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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