Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
