i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Randomize
