Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You can't just leave with hair like that
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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