were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
