Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
barbara walters just said penis...
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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