he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
The feeling are messing with the penis
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize