My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
They took my balls.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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