she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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