it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize