Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
