White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
