rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize