Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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