my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
