Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
