He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
