Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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