My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
