He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
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You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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