well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
She tied me up with her honor cords...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
