It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
