Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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