I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
