I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
