i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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