I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He? As in you personified your dick?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
