ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
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