Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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