btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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