That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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