he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
