weddingsv make me drug and hornr
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
