Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
