my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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