He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
