Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
