Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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