you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
