Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I love you. Go after that dick
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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