i just google imaged poop.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
