thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Just cropdusted the office
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
