I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
