I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
no, he came in my armpit
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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