There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Randomize
