You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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