Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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