You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
