you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
