I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
