So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
i need some magic done to my vagina
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
