He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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