I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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