Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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